Healthy Living Tip: Remember the Good

By Monica C. Voskamp

I’ve been getting lost, stuck by a mental brick wall. I’ve a project to work on yet I keep delaying for some reason. It’s like I’m frozen & can’t push to the next step. Don’t ask me why; I just feel stuck.  And I’ve become focused on my “stuckness”, which has got me retracing into my past and various regrets I have.

I got some feedback from my lifecoach today and they pointed out my focus was on defeat. I feel defeated right now and by my past mistakes. I didn’t realize I had started to narrow my vision to defeats, but I had and it’s been taking me down.

My lifecoach encouraged me: if you’re going to look that closely at the past, if you’ve honed that skill, then look at what you did do right.

Good advice. I smile. I am an expert at regret, at detail, at seeing the past and recounting it till it drives me mad. So why not take the advice, and look at what I did do right? Why not remember what moments were incredible, what memories I wouldn’t change because they were beautiful even in times the rest of my life was not? That’s what I’m sitting down to do tonight…take some time, invest it wise, recount the ways I got it right & ways others brought me smiles.

I’m flipping through the files in my brain like my life coach suggested…to find the good memories and moments worth remembering that were there.

Here’s the first memory that came:

…I’m coming home from work and taking time to sit with my roommate and enjoying a meal together….This happened often. I think one time even a glass of wine; I savoured that one. I remember my roommate telling me to get out a plate and come enjoy whatever food she was eating. Sometimes I would barely get out of my coat, my legs were too tired, I’d just plop there on the barstool chair. We’d chat, share random tidbits of our lives.  Laugh. Sometimes cry. And even though it was late, even though I had worked the day away, and was more than ready for bed, those moments and minutes of chatting with another human soul over some tasty eats, well those moments in time still bring a smile to me. My smile is paused right now here in those memories, and you know what? It feels incredibly good.  It’s funny how simple moments like that, are the ones you look back at and the ones you see are laced with love. 

It’s hopeful to me. I can look back and see there were good moments even in times I wasn’t getting it all right. Those happy moments are worth remembering & celebrating; they are key lights of hope during rough times.

How about you? If you flip back into a chapter of life that perhaps wasn’t the proudest in your life, what good was tucked in there? There has to be one memory. No matter how random it is, there has to be a memory or two of sunshine. I know there is. Because if you’re reading this, you’ve only got this far because you’ve HAD moments of hope woven in your life. Those moments, though seemingly small, are what have kept you going through the rough and regrets. Trace back to a good memory. Linger there. Let that feeling re-flood your soul.

You are reliving love and hope.

And that is a good way to end the day.   Go to sleep with that goodness in your heart. ❤

Always hope. Always believe. Always love. ❤

5 thoughts on “Healthy Living Tip: Remember the Good

  1. It’s good to know from someone like you to find a way in the mind to resolve a psychological obstruction. It’s important to have the belief that there is always a way out to any presented problem as long as we don’t give up in the search to the conundrums of the mind. Sometimes, we need to shift our perception to help further assess a viewpoint from a different angle to reveal alternative meaning to it.

    Thoughts stir our emotions for better or worse, but their alignment is not as straight clean as you think they are. Your past regrets may seem to haunt you because the experience is interpreted by given information. What if your regret was a circumstance affected by certain information that you have no privilege to. It’s that possibility of missing information that makes a world of difference to how you would embrace the journey of your life. Either you grow to accept more of your environment with more love, or repeatedly in rejection. Progress is difficult in the latter.

    Unsubstantiated thoughts have little substance. They are fallacies played out in the imagination that allude us to a mistaken belief. In that context, we should not hold any of our failures to heart. Let it go, and move on. This saying applies to anyone who believes in fate, or destiny “what is not given, is not yours”. Also on that standpoint, we don’t question the Creator’s intention of us. So, we remain subservient to God’s grand design.

    The reality is in the present. If we take ourselves to the future, the thought will bring anxiety. The past will bring sadness. But, the present is our truth. Our essence rest here, and now. If an opportunity has passed you by, don’t regret it but be more prepared when it comes by again.

    Generally, regret manifests because we fail to overcome fear. One of life’s purposes is the challenge to command fear. We can’t eliminate fear, it’s apart of our human make-up. However, we can master the skill to steer it. Embarking on opportunity prematurely with fear unchecked would have a miserable outcome. Perhaps, prayers have provided you the spiritual help that you needed by taking you on a detour to better prepare yourself for the next life’s opportunity. So, indulging on regrets is meaningless, because life’s circumstance dwells on uncertainty. So, why blame yourself.

    Sorry for writing too much.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I do have a blog. It’s at
        My posts are not regular, but I do write articles on philosophy, spirituality etc. Writing is my exercise of the mind. Do drop in. Thanks.

        Liked by 1 person

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